Go to Your Inner Room

Today, here in Wayne County, the home of St. Tikhon's Seminary, we are officially moving to the "yellow phase" of reopening after the two months of quarantine and being restricted from going to church. Not that the quarantine was comfortable, but at least my head had begun to become acquainted with it. Now that some degree of reopening is on the horizon and there is potential to return to church and the Holy Eucharist, the temptation is to try to move back to "business as usual" and not keep a hold of the lessons I have learned during my isolation from church.

One phrase that has continually come to mind these past two months is something that a friend of mine "quoted" on social media. He admitted that this is probably just a mis-quote from some or other ancient desert father, but regardless, there is a kernel of truth with a ready lesson: "Go to your cell and pray. If you can't find God in your cell, you won't find him anywhere."

I would like to adapt that just a little so we are not distracted by the "cell" part:

Go to your "inner room" and pray. If you cannot find God there, you will not find him anywhere.

This one little phrase sums up a multitude of the lessons which have confronted us during this quarantine. We have become far too comfortable with going to church and feeling like we are fulfilling the whole of the spiritual life in doing so. If we are not communing with Christ at home, we are not communing of him at church either. This is part of what St. Nicholas Cabasilas was talking about in what I shared in the last post, as well. And all this time, if it is so hard to pray at home (and it is hard, to be sure), have we really been praying at church?